Where the Stores Are

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment.”
-Henry David Thoreau

“But I won’t know where the stores are!!”

I stared quizzically at my friend. Really?? You find out you get to move to a tropical island for two years, and that’s your heart’s cry? You won’t know where the stores are?

Ages ago, back in our Navy days in the Pacific Northwest, we had some good friends who were being transferred to Guam. We had recently returned from there, and were genuinely excited for them. After six years, we knew the island well and happily shared all the tips and tricks. Churches to check out, the best beaches, restaurants, local foods and navigating the public market, family fun for their toddler, info about the naval bases, even people to reach out to if they needed anything. In a pre-Google era, we tried to be a resource for them, providing information and encouragement for their journey.

Moving to a new place – particularly one halfway around the world – is intimidating, and I certainly don’t want to minimize the stress and anxiety this can bring. I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt, more than once. Still, the downcast countenances, the sense of resignation – even trepidation- with which they faced this new adventure puzzled me.

When they returned two years later, we reconnected to catch up on lives, on kids, on travels. I learned that they had, indeed, been somewhat miserable on Guam. Though they did attend a church, and go to the beach, and yes, found the stores – they never really embraced life in their temporary island home. Always yearning for the past or counting down the days until they could return to the States, their bodies had made the trip – their hearts and minds had not.

“I’d like to thank St. Francis de Sales… and my parents…”

Admittedly, I am an optimist. In a world of half-empty and half-full, my cup usually overflows. But I do not live in some kind of “rose-colored glasses fantasy-land” that ignores the negative aspects of life. The stress and anxiety that comes with a move, with starting over, are not something to be taken lightly. I know the sadness of leaving behind a best friend or three… The drama that comes from dealing with movers… The confusion of the last dozen boxes packed and all labeled “Miscellaneous”… The fear when it’s your second day in town and the TV news is listing all the counties that are currently under tornado warnings, but you have no idea what county you’re in… (true story!) And the sheer exhaustion over just… everything…

Now that I’ve reminded you why you never want to move again…😂

In the 1600’s, Saint Francis de Sales once said, “Truly charity has no limit; for the love of God has been poured into our hearts by His Spirit dwelling in each one of us, calling us to a life of devotion and inviting us to bloom in the garden where He has planted and directing us to radiate the beauty and spread the fragrance of His Providence.” This quote has morphed into the modern proverbial phrase “bloom where you’re planted”, an expression popular enough to have graced everything from motivational posters to T-shirts to coffee mugs.

The practical application of this became woven into my core at an early age. My family moved from California to Washington when I was seven, and I saw my parents ditch their LA Rams football jerseys for Seattle Seahawks apparel. My dad began to insist that 50 degrees was T-shirt weather. We ate clam chowder and exchanged ocean days for lake swimming. Then my freshman year of high school we moved to Guam. Sunny days and island life were fully adopted. We shopped local, ate local, and spent most Saturdays at the beach. New friends were made. Christmas lights were hung on palm trees. We immersed ourselves in the culture, and in sunscreen! 😉

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
-Abraham Lincoln

As children, we don’t always appreciate the lessons handed down from our parents, and we may not even recognize them at all if they are modeled quietly rather than explicitly expressed. But I can’t convey how grateful I am to have this attitude as part of my DNA. It has served me well in the many relocations throughout my adult life. My husband and I started our journey together in Washington, then to Guam, then back to Washington, then to Georgia and Tennessee. After twenty years there, we became nomads – him traveling for work and me traveling with him. We lived in New York, Kansas, Ohio, and New York again. We ended up back in Tennessee for a few months, and are now setting up a (permanent?) home in North Carolina.

Once the logistical nightmares of moving have passed comes a choice. How will you approach this new location? What is your mindset as you begin to navigate your new town? Can you embrace the things that are different, unknown? Will you bloom where you’re planted?
We may not always get to choose the path our life takes us, but we can choose how we react to it. This is where the foundation my parents gave me has made all the difference in my world.

When we moved from the West Coast to the South, I sampled the new cuisine, like biscuits & gravy and shrimp & grits. I learned new definitions for words like “buggy” and “toboggan”. We joined small groups and homeschool co-ops and played tourist in our hometown. We found our new tribe, people who will truly be lifelong friends. And while I still don’t love country music, I don’t hate it as much as I used to! Moving to New York introduced us to hockey, and the Great Lakes, and new friends at the bar down the street. We joined a Jeep club and explored state parks. In Ohio we discovered a great church, and a favorite hole-in-the-wall pizza place with live music. We geeked out just a bit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

And now, in North Carolina? I’m excited to experience the local favorites, the restaurants and entertainment, the great hiking trails and kayaking spots. I’ll cheer for new hockey and baseball teams. (Not football though. Sorry Panthers fans, I am not giving up my Seahawks!) The next Women’s Group meeting for our church here is already on my calendar. We’ll find new adventures, big and small, and make some friends along the way.

I will do my best to adopt our new home state, because wherever I am, I want to be all there. And yes, I’ll learn where the stores are.

Til next time, shine bright friends!
~Dawn 🌻