The trip that wasn’t

As I write this, I’m supposed to be driving home from Vermont with my husband in our Jeep, fresh off of a 10-day Leaves and Lobster New England road trip. Where am I really, you may be wondering. In the coffee shop down the hill from our apartment, sipping a nonfat caramel latte, and trying to make sense of the roller coaster that is my life!

The bags were packed, the fridge cleaned out, arrangements made. The itinerary had been tweaked, and re-tweaked, tours booked, hotels paid for. It was a bucket list trip, and our “one big trip” for the year. We were going to start in Boston, drive up the coast of Maine, then through the mountains of New Hampshire and Vermont. We had planned a visit to Plymouth, (because my 9th great grandfather landed there on the Mayflower), a train ride to the top of Mt. Washington, hiking in Acadia National Park, a hot air balloon ride over the Vermont countryside. We were going to stay in historic inns, a mountain cabin, a houseboat. We were going to eat lots of lobster and chowder and buy fresh maple syrup and take lots of pictures of dying trees (lol!).

But sometimes… no matter how much you plan… things don’t work out the way you expect. It seems a bit ironic to me, that with all the traveling I’ve done the past few years, my first post here is about a trip that didn’t happen. And yet, here we are.

So here’s the story: The day before we are leaving, my husband finds out that his boss revoked his vacation days, and he can’t go. THE DAY BEFORE. My head is spinning at this point and I’m trying to process this information. I have to call our friends we’re traveling with and tell them it looks like they’ll be on their own. Then we find out he can have the days for the last half of the trip off. Now we’re thinking maybe I can still go with our friends, and he can join us. I buy myself a plane ticket, and I start looking at tickets for him, and rental cars. Then our traveling buddies have a medical emergency and they can’t go, and we have to call off the whole thing. A few hours before leaving. See what I mean about a roller coaster?

In the grand scheme of things, I know this is not the end of the world. Just a vacation, right? I certainly have suffered much greater disappointments, and I know you have too. It’s not even the first big trip we’ve canceled, and it probably won’t be the last. But I did want to write about it for a few reasons.

First, I don’t have any awesome foliage photos or restaurant reviews, and I had to post something. Just kidding! Really though, even if this is not life-altering, it is still a disappointment. It did affect me emotionally, and even physically. So welcome to my online therapy session! I truly hope that every vacation you ever plan goes off without a hitch. But just in case it doesn’t… I want to share my experiences, and a few things that helped me these past two weeks.

First, a few practical tips, to help you (hopefully) get most of your money back.

• Even if you have a non-refundable ticket, as long as you contact the airline before the plane takes off, you can usually get a travel or a trip credit for use at a later date. Sometimes this can be handled online, without even calling the airline. A travel credit is the full amount you paid for use in the next 6-12 months, and a trip credit covers a same-type ticket – for example your credit for a round-trip ticket will get you another round-trip ticket of equal or lesser value.
• Email or call each hotel to explain the situation. If you are already in the “no cancellation window” they may make an exception for you about refunding payments or deposits, and you’ll never know if you don’t ask! Sometimes they may have to see if they can rebook your room, so be sure to check back.
• Many tickets for tours or events are non-refundable, but sometimes they will let you change it to a different date. They might give it to you in the form of a raincheck, if you still plan on doing that activity in the future, but you’re not sure when. Or you might be able to reschedule for a later date that’s in the cancellation window, then you can cancel and get your money back. That worked for us with the train tickets.
• Cancel restaurant reservations. There is usually no financial benefit to this, but it is courteous to the staff and other potential diners.

And second, on a personal note:

• It’s ok to grieve a little -it’s not frivolous or shallow. When you put a lot of time and effort into something, when you are looking forward to it for months, and it gets taken away suddenly, for reasons that don’t make sense, there is a sense of loss. Honestly, I cried a little that morning I found out Barry couldn’t get off work. Once the whole thing was canceled I was a bit melancholy. For the next day or two I felt lethargic, unmotivated, and I definitely did NOT want to make any decisions or plans- even what to cook for dinner. (sorry honey!) Shout out to my amazing hubby btw, who brought me flowers and dinner that night. 🥰 And that brings us to the next point…
• Take a little time for self-care: whatever that looks like for you! Retail therapy, a massage, painting, a coffee shop, blowing up zombies in a video game, hang out with your favorite people. You were going to spend the money on your vacation anyway, so buy the shoes!
• And lastly, try for a staycation: this may or may not work, depending on why everything got canceled in the first place. But if you can, play tourist in your hometown. Go exploring, see a concert or comedy show, eat at your favorite restaurant. Barry and I were able to go for a picnic and hiking at Letchworth State Park, tour the Corning Museum of Glass and visit Belhurst Castle and Winery for dinner and wine tasting – all within a few hours of home. Not quite lobster and hot air balloon rides, but we were together, and that was the most important part. And who knows? Maybe New England will happen next year…