Ok God, what’s the plan?

Both the leaves and temperatures are falling; our time in New York is coming to an end. We have one, maybe two weeks left here. We don’t have a final date yet, or a destination. A beach town? (Please God, pick this one!) The Arctic winter? (Nooooooo!) I know the uncertainty and spontaneity is part of the package deal of nomadic life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. On this rainy Wednesday afternoon, I’m struggling with wanting to know details for the next few months – after all, the holidays are coming – and the reality that those details are wholly dependent on Barry’s employer. And as I wrestle with the unknown – the lifestyle I signed up for – I begin contemplating what God says about making plans. Bits of a Bible verse are dancing around in my head and lead down the following rabbit trail…

James 4:13-15

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 

A friend of mine wrote a poem about “the dash”- that little line on a tombstone between the birth year and the death year. That little line – the symbol of a whole life. The band Crowder wrote a song called “-[Dash]” with a similar message. (I love this song; you should give it a listen.) Part of the lyrics go like this:

“I could take this life and live it well
Or I could keep on living it for myself
What’s He gonna say when He calls me up?
Was I just words or was I love
Did I love great or just good enough
I just hope He says well done
I keep on wondering what I’m chasing
Don’t want another minute wasted
There’s a day we’re born, Day we pass
In between there’s just a dash
What on earth am I doing”

I think the reminder here is two-fold. First, while the Lord created us and knows the number of hairs on our heads and love us uniquely and incredibly; the world does not revolve around us. We are a tiny part of a large tapestry, and we certainly can’t see the whole picture. Second, as we are making our plans, are we making them for ourselves, or for God? Are we seeking our will, or His?

Proverbs 16:3,9

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Barry and I were doing long-distance for several years. His job moves him around the country, with opportunities to come “home” for 4 days every 3 weeks. Nearly all of that time we were working on, and planning for, him to find a non-traveling job in Chattanooga. That would allow him to reconnect with his community, but more importantly, allow us to be together. We’ve been married for 33 years, and we still kinda like each other. 😉 We know how to do long distance and we’re good at it, but it’s not ideal for a marriage. Then one day this spring God popped an idea into my head, “What if I moved with him?” All of the different puzzle pieces – family, work, pets, housing – had fallen into place to make this a possibility for the first time. We prayed about it and stepped forward in faith. And now for the last several months, we have been able to see each other every day. Talking, laughing, playing, going on adventures, challenging each other, learning together, growing closer. We had plans, and they were good ones. God’s goal for our marriage was the same as ours – He just had a different route in mind to get us here.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This is of course a favorite verse of many, including my husband. Reading it in context with the chapter, it’s part of a letter to the Babylonian exiles. Its purpose is to encourage them that no matter what things look like or feel like in the moment, the Lord has not forgotten them. And that is a needed reminder for me, when I feel like everything is taking too long, when I am (not so patiently) asking for answers.

We usually stop at verse 11, but I love the next few verses as well.
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord…”
We are not forgotten, and when we pray, He hears us, and when we seek Him, we WILL find Him.

So what can I take away from all this? After all, I’m still sitting at the “office” half of my dining table, typing this out, waiting for a phone call from my husband. I still have no idea what my family is doing for Thanksgiving, or Christmas. And when I do find out, my day will shift from waiting to a flurry of preparation and planning. For now, I’m going to be still, make a cup of tea, and embrace the mystery. I’m going to thank God that I am known and loved and remembered. I’m going to pray and seek His will and ask Him to direct our steps.

Here in my tiny apartment, and wherever we are living next month, in this place, the Lord promises peace, peace that passes understanding. With that peace comes a confidence and faith, and the ability to be excited about the next adventure coming our way. The details will work themselves out. If we are sent to the snowy North, I’ll head to REI and buy a proper coat and some boots. But maybe we’ll get to go to the beach. 💕